The Big L.I.E. About Self-Care
Most of us grow up with a great big lie at the foundation of our relationship assumptions. We are often taught that it is always better to give to and do for others rather than be selfish and spend our energies on ourselves. After decades of being told implicitly and explicitly that taking care of others is a prime directive in life, after we are exhausted, unraveled, and spent ... then we are told that our ill health and lack of balance in our lives is a problem. We are expected to turn on a dime and change into people who can "take care of ourselves first". How can we do this if we feel guilty for being selfish every time we try? How can we do this if we feel like we are "bad" for being selfish?
I say the idea that self-care is selfish is "The Big L.I.E."
We are told that to be self-LESS is a good thing. This is the "L" in the L.I.E.
SelfLESS is when you put other's needs above your own needs - to your detriment.
This is not good.
We are told that to be self-ISH is a bad thing. This is the "I" in the L.I.E.
SelfISH is when you put your needs above other's needs - to the other's detriment.
This is not good either.
Now, consider self-ENTITLED, which is when you get creative and consider your needs as well as the other's needs. This is the "E" in the L.I.E. Self-entitlement leads to nobody's detriment. This is good.
Self-entitlement is a better way. When you act with self-entitlement, you get creative and use problem solving to benefits both you and other people in your life.
The truth is that over time, being constantly self-LESS
makes you angry, tired, resentful, without getting your basic needs met.
You would not have as much to give to family or community.
The truth is that over time, being self-ENTITLED
results in having your basic needs met so that
you can give more to your family and community.
Do not believe the L.I.E. Don't feel selfish when you take care of yourself. Instead, tune into your self-entitlement so that you are on the list of people who deserve your care and you have more energy to take care of all of you.
Get the Support You Need - Including the Healthy Lifestyles Chat on Tuesdays at 9:15 p.m. E.S.T.
In tonight's chat we will talk about self-entitlement and
balancing out care for ourselves with life's responsibilities. Please
join us with your questions, answers, problems, and solutions. You can
check out past
chat topics here.
Oooo, Look What I Found... Get ready for Prom, Mother of the Bride, and Spring Events!
Get what you need to take care of yourself
and have a wonderful Spring.
You deserve it!