Set Up Your Supports
At first, when you sit up straight for a few minutes, your back muscles get tired pretty quickly. It is almost as if sitting up straight ‘gives’ you a back ache. Of course, this is not true. Weak back muscles give you the back ache. Your posture muscles are just not strong enough yet. As you sit up straight over time, you build the back muscles you need! Sitting up straight becomes easier! Indeed, when you are sitting up straight regularly, you have less back pain and less neck strain . You build the support you need for healthier posture.
At first, when you set up the supports to make your life run smoother, it seems a hassle and tiring. It is almost as if setting up your supports ’gives’ you stress. Of course, this is not true. Lack of proper support in your life is what gives you the hassle. Your supports are just not strong enough yet. As you use supports over time, you actually build a life that works better. Life becomes easier!
Our support systems take many forms:
- An environment that is organized - so we can function better
- Systems or habits that allow us to operate on “automatic pilot”
- People to whom we delegate tasks
- People we rely on for support
- Organizations or groups for informational or emotional support
It takes time to set up these systems. It is worth our time! Just like sitting up straight builds back muscles and your body functions better. Setting up your supports builds a life that lets YOU function better.
Take the time. Get what you need. Build a life that works for you on your average days. That supportive life will work for better on your tough days.
I Speak from Personal Experience
In the past , I was a chronic over-giver with out of balance relationships. Not anymore. I have been working for twenty years on building my systems of self-care and learning to receive tending from others (in balance with giving tending to others). It is only because of my supports that I am O.K. now.
Now, I am facing some of the toughest days of my life. There was a terrible collision and I lost my 26 year old son, Adam. His strong feelings (from a breakup with his long time girlfriend) collided with gun ownership (for his protection!) The result was that Adam chose a permanent solution to a temporary problem. My son Adam died of suicide on August 16, 2005.
Remember “It’s a Wonderful Life”. Well, it is as if Adam just did not hear his angel “Clarence”. He was not saved from his moment of despair as George Baily was saved by Clarence.
I am O.K. I am surfing the waves of grief and loss. Self-care is my life preserver.
I have wonderful support from my family and friends … and now, because of twenty years of practice, I am able to accept that support! I am O.K. because I built my support systems over the years.
I am sitting up straight, enjoying coaching my clients, teaching my fitness classes, and pleased to be connecting to YOU.
Getting back to normal is part of recovering from any trauma. I am getting back to normal. I look forward to talking to you in our Lifestyle Coaching sessions. I am continuing my Lansdowne fitness classes and Saturday morning walking program.
If you wonder how I am, you can visit the website I made for Adam at: www.ImSoSorryForYourLoss.com As time passes, one of my theraputic activities is to tend this site and write to you, the world at large.