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> Back to Self-Care Excerpts List

Self-Care Excerpt from Don't Weight

New Goals That Really Work

If science had figured out HOW to lose weight and keep it off, there would be a weight loss pill or program that worked for more than a few individuals. Have you ever seen permanent weight loss statistics released by the various weight loss companies? NO. This information is not released. If science could deliver on the promise of permanent weight loss, weight loss companies would not be refusing to disclose their meager statistics on permanent weight loss.

It is not as simple as we have been told. Science does not, at this time, have the power to control body weight. If you ignore this FACT, and choose weight loss as a primary goal, then you will likely be among the casualties of the diet wars (over 90% failure rate at long-term permanent weight loss.) If you encourage others to choose weight loss as a primary goal, then you are encouraging them to climb onto the weight-loss, weight-gain merry-go-round.

When you consider the fact that we do not, at this time, have the power to control body weight, then what goal can you strive toward? What goal can you recommend to others? You need achievable goals, goals at which you CAN succeed.

  1. Focus on the ACTIONS of healthy eating.
  2. Focus on the ACTIONS of regular exercise and overcoming the obstacles to exercise.
  3. Focus on the ACTIONS that meet your emotional needs.
  4. Focus on the ACTIONS that improve your relationships.
  5. Focus on the ACTIONS that improve your environment.

Please do not hurt yourself with the ineffective goal of weight loss. Please do not hurt other people by recommending this disappointing goal to others. DO NOT focus on weight loss as a primary goal. Do not teach your children, friends, students, clients or patients to focus on weight loss as a primary goal.

Focus on the ACTIONS of healthy living as your primary goal. Whatever happens with your weight is not under your control. Whatever happens with your weight is a side effect of your healthy living actions.

Watching your weight is an ANXIETY
NOT an action.

Do not focus on weight loss as a primary goal.

Whatever happens with your weight
is a side effect of your actions,
not a goal.

You may not have control over body weight, but you DO have the power to affect your lifestyle. You can get moving, enjoy healthy foods, and cope with emotions without always using food.

When you separate these healthy-living goals
from weight loss,
you will have goals that are achievable!

I have never seen a client damage their self-esteem by adding reasonable, enjoyable exercise to their lives. I have never seen harmful side effects from eating healthier foods. I have never seen eating disorders result from learning to meet emotional needs more effectively. These are constructive goals. These goals don't hurt! When we focus on lifestyle goals (without weight loss expectations or requirements) we have chosen goals that CAN be achieved. I often say to my clients:

"It does not matter what you weigh.

It matters how you live!

Does your life meet your needs?"

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By Kelly Bliss M.Ed., A.C.E. author of Don’t Weight, Eat Healthy & Get Moving NOW!
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